Friday, January 8, 2010, 15:06
Well, this is kinda weird. Wont be going back for fourteen days, so, bad food for two weeks. Maybe that will prompt me to eat more SFI. Gosh, hate it sia... Nevertheless, it's should be fine right?

Saturday, January 2, 2010, 23:17
Felt like slapping people again :X

Anyways, bad end to 2009. Bloody hell, caught by the waddaheck for mahjiong-ing. Zzz. Really retarded lar, then he called me. Really disappointed and stuff. Sometimes life makes me feel lonely, yet, there seemed to be people who kinda know my inner soul, but never exposed themselves.

I don't know why I break down again. Really weird, cos' there's no reason to do so, other than being utterly disappointed and to fail people's expectations. I hate to fail. I hate to be afraid. I hate to make stupid decisions that I will take up consequences later on. Maybe life's unfair, maybe I'm unlucky. I don't know why, but I still can't get over it. Somewhat waddaheck said things that sounded really mean, e.g. about his son giving a punch to his friend, gosh, that sounded like childhood violence already. I guess I need to be mean, whether to protect myself or to make my life better. The truth is ugly, lies are always much more beautiful, that's why I am beautiful. =.=

Being truthful sucks, cos' not only people hate listening to the truth, people know that knowing the truth means something has to be done. 长痛不如短痛, 短痛不如没有痛. But the situation is always jeopardised. I am always being victimised. No one knows how I feel because I don't want people to know me. I am not half the boy I used to be. Disillusioned by my surroundings, I hunger for love, love that is sincere and from the heart.

He told me some long story about being firm. I told him a long story about friends. He told me another one that seemed really like mine, that he used to be like me.

... I would turn off my phone, tell every one it's broken, so they'd think I am sleeping alone... I'd put myself first, and make the rules as I go... Yes, my phone's in camp, I don't wanna be contacted. Seriously, whoever who calls will not bring me good news...

I need to be more selfish, need to think for my own...

You're under my skin
you're breaking in
and the tasteless fights that filled our nights,
started to cave in

I hate this life...

Wednesday, December 9, 2009, 16:38
Christmas is coming in like 2 weeks plus time!! Feeling quite excited now... :)

Saturday, November 7, 2009, 18:21
Day of Ignorance

This is the Liar Game, where people take advantage of the trust they have with another person for their own gains. This is Life.

Hate how people just don't get it, how the chain of command works, how petty they are, to cause so much trouble for me, in just 24 hours.

I really felt like it's all the end for me, not that I am incompetent, but because people are plain selfish. Selfish. Ha, to think that there's so much love in the world, but politics just screw it all. Love others like you love thyself. I am thinking, if this would continue, what will happen?

Now I get the rationale why people hate doing duties with him. Not only he's careless, he can't afford to care at all. And to my blur king, I seriously got nothing to say. A 24 h shift and so much things happened, what will people think of me? F-ked up sergeant? Because he skipped the chain of command, because he went to wake others? Because I am ignorant. Ignorance is not blissful.

Wednesday, November 4, 2009, 19:37
I must say life is not that easy as a RP spec. Politics is every where. Guard room, post office... WHA! really seen quite a bit over here. Really unsatisfied with someone who wasted my four hours yesterday trying to pry my brain on thinking about how to make a roster, satisfying some conditions that can't be neglected:

1. The shift system cannot be destroyed.
2. Me and my spec buddy will ease the load of the spec in the other shift, but not compromising on the rest days.
3. Weekend duties must be fair.
4. The period of time between work days must be fair.
5. The frequency of one doing duty on a certain day must not exceed 50% of the whole rota.

So this was what I came out,

and he was not happy lor. So me and my spec buddy wasted another few hours thinking on how to improve the plan. And we did. So now, let's just wait if he has a better plan, or else I won't take over his duty on Sunday.

Saturday, October 24, 2009, 10:20
Was supposed to go out today for a lunch with my NS friends, but seemed like not everyone's free today.

Was feeling really down because I still can't believe some people are so full of themselves, thinking that everything ought to belong to them.

Was really bored because there isn't much to do today.

So, what's wrong with today?

Thursday, October 22, 2009, 23:32
Somehow I predicted something, and it was right again. My stomach O_O, maybe it's time to see a nutritionist soon...

Anyways, birthday on weekdays is quite unfortunate. Cos when you're having off, people are having work or in school. Argh! But at least there's a few great stuff to look forward to.

Money is evil... really evil.

Thanks Hoakiat for celebrating my birthday during lunch, Weixuan and Shuhui during dinner. Sorry that I had to let you girls wait, cos I was kinda having fun at Hoakiat's house.

*stomach rumbling once again*

Thanks to all these souls who wished me their birthday wishes on Facebook, in order of timing...
Justin
Weixuan
Shuhuan
Meehan
Nigel
Chengliang
Randy
Samuel Tong
Hayden
Leonard
Melvyn
Weihong
Kenson
Huangyu
Yuting
Huaice
Melissa Lim
Felix
Mingjie
Izwan
Andrea
YitAn
Zongxing
Benson
Weiying
Boonping
Anthony
Cheryl Lim
Jen
Yanxun
Jolinda
Shuwei
Jethro
Mingjiang
Bernard
TingTing

and via SMS...
Kinchi
Lilin
Pockthong
ChoonKim
Kenneth Leow
Zhikai
CCWO
LeeMin
Cindy
Shutong
Diane

and the belated...
Yangyi
Samuel Lim
Reuben

Thank you all for remembering me, as a part of your life.

Saturday, October 17, 2009, 08:30
POC loh! After 8 weeks at Paya Lebar Air Base, 35 of us graduated from the tough, mindfucks, shag 'training' that we had. As of now, the posting goes like...

8 PLAB, 15 TAB, 5 CAB, 3 SAB, 4 Non-FDS Units.

Me? One of the 4 who has gotten Non-FDS Unit.

Ah... Really felt that I am going to get AFS.

Now... just a few days before my birthday, I hope that everything will be 8-5 till then. (me so evil)

Sunday, October 4, 2009, 18:36
Realised how time flies so fast... 12 h since I last booked out, but 120 min to book in. This isn't very funny. If I realised that time would have flown so fast, I will volunteer to stop time myself. But since when could we do so?

, 12:13
Can't watch tonight's match, and probably won't know the results till tomorrow.

6 weeks over, 1 week to go. This week was full of uncertainties, from the threat that we will have an exercise on Friday to the numerous pep-talks I had with sergeants. Help only those who deserves to be help. That doesn't sound good to me though, but I am really tired. Fatigue is overwhelming me, but I know I will make it through, no matter what.

I don't know whether I know how to pass through this few weeks ahead, especially since my birthday is going to clash with the OJT (freaking sad) but the chat with Randy just enlightened me. God loves me. That's enough to outweigh everything else.

Was late for confinement yesterday, but I am not afraid. God has gave me courage to face the consequences. I know he will help me through. The confinement was refreshing, different from what we had in FDS block 53. Really appreciated the sergeants and the officers back at Flight, thier warmth helped us pass the 24 hours quickly, and more importantly, efficiently. We did 50 pull-ups (got to level 7 of pyramid pull-ups)

Was quite happy for my IPPT results, Silver, 5,3,5,5,3 , accumulated 21 points Silver. Maybe next year I'll get gold?

God has given me faith in my comrades, and I will not disappoint him.

Monday, September 21, 2009, 16:15


Week 4

So, suddenly, we're back to halfway through, because CO's gonna retire and the sergeant are gonna be involved, ie. course extension by 2 weeks. That sucks because I am gonna have my birthday 'celebrated' in camp. OJT confined -.-

The three days break was really refreshing. I slept all I wanted, played and watched all I wanted, except the part that I don't wanna book in. Ahh, book in blues... UO's tomorrow, and I think it's gonna be hell. Hate outfields.

I guess I have to know when to listen and when not to. Knowing more doesn't mean that it's good, sometimes knowing too much kills.

Been the platoon IC, the first to get the new one-day-platoon-IC system, and realised that there are things that others may not see, and that we must have the moral courage to voice out, for the selfishness of one will affect the rest of the platoon. Made them learn the course song... Not bad I suppose, though it would be better if some people were more serious...

Watched the Ugly Truth, and I must say it's really a good laugh.

Sometimes people just don't know who you are... sometime you don't even know who you are...